PSA: HUGE

This is a Public Service Announcement for any readers I might have who are from non-hulu compatable areas. You can find HUGE here. You're welcome;=)

Sure, Fat Acceptance is great and all, but what about my...

Sure, Fat Acceptance is great and all, but what about my double chin? It is so incredibly socially unacceptable! Just look at the images of fat women on TV (when there are any); none of the acceptable fat people, meaning fat people who are more than just caricatures, have double chins. When people in my family are having their picture taken, they have to raise their head or stick out their chin to make sure the double chin isn't immortalized in pixels. A discussion on whether someone is fat or not can be ended by a simple "She has a double chin!" Yup, with a double chin there's just no denying it, you're fat.* And since fat equals bad, I with my double chin equal bad. On a good day, my big hips make me feel womanly, my big ass makes me feel sexy, my large thighs are there to carry me around and I appreciate them for it, my big boobs make me feel like there's not a man who could resist me, my fat toes are the cutest things ever, my stomach with it's strech marks feel great to the touch, and my back rolls remind me "I'm curvy, yay!", but neutral, it seems, is the best I can feel about my double chin. So naturally, when I first discovered Fat Acceptance, my feelings toward my double chin was the first thing I wanted to change. *rolls eyes at herself* Chock it up to me liking a challenge. And I have made some progress; my feelings toward my double chin used to be all bad all the time, and now, as I just said, I can manage a 'neutral'. That's doesn't feel good enough, though. I want to be able to love all of myself, but the honest to god truth is that I just don't find double chins attractive.

I think I have been looking at this from the wrong perpective, then. My double chin is a part of me, and I am worthy of both acceptance and love. I mean, I've never thought of vaginas as particularly attractive looking, but there it still is, right where it's always been, and that's never bothered me in any way. I guess that is me: Lots of blonde curly hair. Nice smile. Vagina. Double chin. 100% awesome.;=)
I don't expect there to be love at first sight the next time I see my double chin in a mirror, but hopefully this new perspective will help me take the next step. I'll let you guys know how it works out.

Have you guys ever thought someting like that? "Sure, Fat Acceptance is great and all, but what about my..." How did your sentence end? Care to share?


*I'm referring to actual fat people with double chins here, not skinny people with them.

The Random Edition: A Fat Ballerina

A fat ballerina from Russia’s “Big Ballet”

She looks so graceful and beautiful!

The Heart & Soul Blog Award

Weesha over at Weesha's World just awarded me a blog award. The reasoning reads as follows: "The Heart and Soul award is given to bloggers who always take the time to sit and relate with their readers. Whether it be with the simplest walk down the street to something that my have triggered an emotion to inspire you to write the amazing entries that you do. Not all bloggers are able to capture the attention and hearts of readers. Bearing and exposing your HEART & SOUL in your blogposts,". Thank you, Weesha! Thank you very, very much! I am truthfully both touched and honored that you feel I qualify for this!
The thing is folks, I am usually very unimpressed with these awards. Largely, I think, because the rules almost always state that you have to pass the award on to a certain number of other bloggers. Which, to me, feel a lot like the chain emails I used to get a ton of, and the chain letters I received before that. But (and this is going to sound like a lie, but I swear to the higher powers that it's the truth) for the first time I actually wanted one. I mean, heart and soul, those are fantastic things to be rewarded for! So this is me saying; thank you Weesha, it means a lot to me, and I hope you're not too offended I'm not passing it on.

*Kisses

My trip to the doctor - A non-horror story

Yup, I really am:)

I wasn’t going to write about this, partly because my story is simply that, one story; and partly because, well, it’s not a terribly exciting story. But the thing is, if you spend some time in the Fatosphere, you’re bound to hear stories. Stories not like mine. Truly horrible stories. And it can freak you the f**k out, I know it did me. That is why I’m writing this, to show that not every trip to the doctor’s has to be a disaster.
I’ve been having these really intense headaches, and after suffering through about six of them I just couldn’t put off going to the doctor any longer. Both his and mind first thought went to migraine, but since I have no symptoms of migraine other than the headaches we ruled that out. His next thought was that it might be situation based, meaning factors in my life were to ‘blame’, so to figure out if this was the case, he asked me some questions. This was perfectly reasonable, and also something I expected. Among the questions was a question about my diet (meaning how/what I eat and drink). Now, I have recently made some changes to my diet, in an attempt to treat my body better, since I’ve… you know… stopped despising it since I found FA, but up till now my diet has, in my opinion, been pretty atrocious for a longish while. So I told him I’ve recently made some changes, and described how I’ve been eating until pretty recently. He did make it clear that he didn’t approve of my former diet by making the ironic comment “Well, you’re sure clever”, but he did not shame me for eating that way. After I had specified a bit, he did ask me a few questions, like “Do you regularly eat bread? Pasta? Drink milk?”, and he seemed slightly concerned by the lack of nutrients I’ve been getting, but, again, there was absolutely no shaming. During our consultation he did ask how much I weigh, which I don’t really see any obvious reason for asking, but then again I’m not a doctor so I’m sure he had a one. He made no comment, verbal or otherwise, about my weight. I’ve recently moved into the deathfat category (which we call ‘Class III obesity’ in my neck of the woods), so I can’t really see him getting bent out of shape by anyone else’s weight either. He did ask me (not directly after the “How my do you think you weigh?” question), how much weight I was planning on losing, I assume in response to my changed diet. To this I answered honestly that I’m not planning on losing any weight, I’ve simply made some changes to eat a more balanced diet. - On a side note; telling him this felt kinda good and empowering, I recommend it! – He didn’t break out the pompoms to cheer me for not dieting, but he didn’t have a negative reaction either. And that was pretty much it. He had someone from the lab draw some blood, told me why he thought I was having these headaches, prescribed some serious painkillers and told me to contact him if they didn’t work in the expected way, I told him thank-you, and we wished each other a nice summer.
If you made it to the end of this non-action packed tale, I hope to have eased your mind about your next doctor visit just a little bit.