Why I'm a Fat Blogger

Sarah of NotBlueAtAll was kind enough to ask me to participate in a video project for her upcoming Fatty Affair. Unfortunately she didn't get the participation she needed, so the project had to be scrapped. The video was still made however, and I thought you guys might like to see it.
The video was supposed to be about two minutes on why I'm a fat blogger, and here it is; Why I'm a Fat Blogger.



 

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fat Acceptance the Quick and Dirty Way

Trigger warning: I don't often issue trigger warnings, but in this post I touch on the many reasons why people are fat, including dieting, so it felt appropriate. You may want to proceed with caution, or not at all.

As Fat Activists it's easy to feel like we're supposed to have passionate discussions about Fat Acceptance all the time, winning people over to the cause. However, sometimes in life we are in situations where having that discussion just isn't appropriate. Maybe there's not enough time, maybe the setting you're in would make the discussion downright inappropriate, or maybe you just don't have it in you that day. All of these are perfectly valid excuses, and no one will try to take away your Fat Activist badge. But if you're like me, you still want to say something. Which is why I've compiled a short list of responses to have on hand whenever the situation calls for Fat Acceptance Light. Without further ado I give you Fat Acceptance, the quick and dirty way:

• When someone conflates weight and health - You can't tell by their body what someone's health is like.
 
• When someone can't understand why people can't just get rid of their fat - There's not just one reason why people are fat. Dieting; medical conditions; medical side effects; mental health problems; and a sedentary lifestyle and poorly balanced diet, can all make you fat. Also remember that, just like some people are born thin, some people are born fat.
 
• In the face of the near-constant judgement of people's looks and choices - I'm really not interested in tearing down other people.

 

And if these all fail there's always the golden rule:

 

         Everybody deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

Do you have any of these quick, (more or less) one-liners you use when the situation warrants? Do people seem to react okay? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

 

 

 

 

Advarsel om utløsende innhold: Jeg utsteder ikke ofte denne typen advarsler, men i dette innlegget er jeg innom de mange grunnene til at folk er feite, inkludert slanking, så det føltes på sin plass. Det er mulig du bør lese videre med aktsomhet, eller ikke i det hele tatt.

 

Som fettaktivister (Fat Activists) er det lett å føle at vi burde ha lideskapelige diskusjoner om Kroppsaksept hele tiden, og få folk over på vår side. Men nå er det nå slik at det finnes situasjoner i livet hvor den type diskusjoner bare ikke passer seg. Kanskje har du bare ikke nok tid, kanskje tiden og stedet vil gjøre en slik diskusjon direkte upassende, eller kanskje du bare ikke har det i deg den dagen. Alle disse er helt legitime grunner, og ingen kommer til å prøve å ta fra deg din status som fettaktivist. Hvis du er som meg har du allikevel lyst til å si noe, og det er grunnen til at jeg har satt sammen en kort liste over svar du kan ha i bakhånd når situasjonen krever litt Kroppsaksept light. Med dette gir jeg dere "fort og gæli" versjonen av Kroppsaksept:

• Når noen blander sammen helse og vekt - Du kan ikke se på kroppen til noen hvordan helsa deres er.

• Når noen ikke kan forstå hvorfor folk ikke bare kan kvitte seg med fettet sitt - Det er ikke bare én grunn til at folk er feite. Slanking, medisinske lidelser, bivirkninger av medisiner, psykiske problemer, og for lite bevegelse kombinert med et dårlig balansert kosthold, kan alle gjøre deg feit. Og husk at akkurat som noen mennesker er født tynne, er noen mennesker født feite.

• I møte med den nærmest konstante dømmingen av andre menneskers utseende og valg - Jeg er ikke interessert i å bidra til å holde andre mennesker nede.

 

Og hvis dette slår feil har vi alltids den gylne regelen:

 

          Alle fortjener å bli behandlet med verdighet og respekt.

 

Har du noen av disse enkle og kjappe tilsvarene du bruker når det ikke passer seg med noe lengre? Har reakjonene fra andre mennesker vært OK? Jeg skulle veldig gjerne hørt tankene og erfaringene deres!

It's not about my health! Part III

Many of you will remember the Chick-fil-A debacle of a few months past, where President Dan Cathy decided to weigh in on same-sex marriage by saying his company backs the traditional family unit. (For those not fluent in American euphemisms, “traditional family” means a family that is started by two married, cissexual, heterosexual individuals.) As is only right, the progressive community took up the cause and ran with it. Unfortunately for us fatties, the road they decided to run down quickly lead them to Fat Shaming Highway. Some talented people in the Body Acceptance community have already written about this, and if you haven't read them already I suggest you go read these articles:

I Know You’re Mad at Chick-fil-A, But Stop Taking It Out on Fat People
Oppressing Me Doesn't Set You Free

Endel av dere vil huske den siste Chick-fil-A hendelsen, der fast food kjedens direktør, Dan Cathy, bestemte seg for å bidra til diskusjonen rundt likekjønnet ekteskap ved å uttale at hans selskap støtter den tradisjonelle familieenheten (eng. "the traditional family unit"). (For de som ikke er flytende i amerikanske eufemismer, betyr "den tradisjonell familieenheten" en familie som er startet av to gifte, cisseksuelle**, heterofile individer.) Som rett er kjørte det progressive felleskapet straks i vei med denne saken. Dessverre for oss tjukkaser førte veien de bestemte seg for å storme ned dem raskt til "riksvei fat shame". Noen talentfulle mennesker i kroppsaksept samfunnet har allerede skrevet om dette, og hvis du ikke har lest dem allerede jeg foreslår at du går og leser disse artiklene:

I Know You’re Mad at Chick-fil-A, But Stop Taking It Out on Fat People
Oppressing Me Doesn't Set You Free

I am telling you about this now, not to speak to this issue specifically, but to put what I want to say into context. You see, this is for my fellow liberals. This is for the anti-racists, the gay rights advocates, the feminists, the social justice advocates, the foreign aid proponents, the environmentalists, the lefties, the human rights advocates, the animal rights advocates, for the people who choose jobs because they get to help people with no regard for how little it pays, and for all you other bleeding hearts out there. Yes, this is for the people who are far too politically correct to ever look at the body of another human being and call it disgusting. My friends, you have let me down. I expected more of you, but you, perhaps more than any other group, keep singing me this refrain. The refrain goes like this; ... but what about your health!?"It's great that she accepts her body, but what about her health?!"
"Everybody should love themselves of course, but what about his health?!"
"I'm really sorry they were bullied for their body size, but what about their health?!"

Jeg forteller deg om dette nå, ikke for å snakke om denne saken spesielt, men for å sette det jeg ønsker å si inn i en sammenheng. Du skjønner, dette er til mine med-ræddiser. Dette er til anti-rasistene, feministene, u-hjelps fremmerene, miljøvernerne, menneskerettighetsforkjemperne, dyrerettighetsforkjemperne, de som står på barrierene for LHBT rettigheter, de som står på barrierene for sosial rettferdighet, de venstrevridde, til folk som velger jobber fordi de vil hjelpe folk uten hensyn til hvor lite det lønner seg, og til alle dere andre med store, lettpåvirkelige hjerter der ute. Ja, dette er til dere som er altfor politisk korrekte til å se på kroppen til et annet menneske og kalle den motbydelig. Mine venner, dere har sviktet meg. Jeg forventet mer av dere, men dere, kanskje mer enn noen annen gruppe, herper på det samme refrenget. Og refrenget høres slik ut: ... men hva med helsa di?! "Det er flott at hun aksepterer kroppen sin, men hva med helsa hennes?!"
"Alle burde selvfølgelig elske seg selv, men hva med helsa hans?!"
"Jeg er virkelig lei for at de ble mobbet for kroppsstørrelsen sin, men hva med helsa deres?!"

We call the other side ignorant when they believe the lies of the right-wing politicians. We call them ignorant when they seem afraid of societal change, won't recognize the facts we put down in front of them, and cling to their views based solely on feelings. We call them ignorant when they talk loudly of their hatred for terrorists, but are unaware that the U.S. didn't invade Iraq to find bin Laden; can't be bothered to differentiate between the average Muslim and extremist terrorists; and accuse the white people among us of only wanting to be politically correct when we point out that terrorism isn't the sole province of brown people. We call them ignorant, and I think we're mostly right.
However there's a saying about glass houses that come to mind, when I know how incredibly easy it is to learn things like that it's the people in the "overweight" BMI category that live the longest, not the ones in the "average" one, that there are many reasons why people are fat, not just one or two, and that diets don't work. But do you know what? Critical and independent thought is harder than it sounds, and I generally don't blame people at all if they've never heard of this stuff before I tell them about it. There is something I do blame them for though, and I bet you know what it is by now. I blame them when they respond to what I say with, "But what about your health??"

Vi sier det er uvitenhet som fører til frykt, når endringer i det sosiale landskapet blir møtt med sterke negative reaksjoner. Vi møter mennesker som tror det ikke lenger er vanskeligere å være homofil enn heterofil i Norge, og blir slått av uvitenheten deres. Vi ler avvisende når vi blir fortalt at det ikke lenger er noe behov for feminisme i Norge, og tenker at slik uvitenhet virkelig bør bøtes på før man åpner munnen. Vi sier de er uvitende, og for det meste tror jeg vi har rett.
Imidlertid er det er et ordtak om glasshus som kommer til tankene, når jeg vet hvor utrolig lett det er å finne ut at det er menneskene i den "overvektige" KMI kategorien som lever lengst, ikke de i den "normalvektige", at det er mange grunner til at folk er feite, ikke bare én eller to, og at slankekurer ikke funker. Men vet du hva? Kritisk og selvstendig tenkning er vanskeligere enn det høres ut, og jeg klandrer vanligvis ikke folk i det hele tatt hvis de aldri har hørt om disse tingene før jeg forteller dem om dem. Én ting klandrer jeg allikevel folk for, og det tipper jeg du vet hva er nå. Jeg klandrer dem når de svarer på det jeg sier med: "Men hva med helsa di??"

Let's run through this, shall we? Just as not all slender people are healthy, not all fat people are unhealthy. Actually, more precisely, just as not all slender people are unhealthy, not all fat people are unhealthy. If you're going to argue with me on this, I'm really going to need you to do some research on your own (but if you look for the * at the bottom of this piece, I'll help you get started). One of my personal FA heroes, Marilyn Wann, said it best when she said, "The only thing anyone can diagnose by looking at a fat person is their own level of prejudice toward fat people!" This means that, unless you are a health professional working with a fat person, or said fat person has told you about their health, you don't actually have any idea what their health is like. Knowing this, I can't help but find all this concern a bit ... odd.
And even if you did know exactly what a fatty's health was like, how is it any of your business? Aren't we the side that believe people should be free to do whatever they want with their bodies? Aren't we the pro-choice side? Aren't we the people who believe you can love and make love to anybody you damn well want to, as long as it's consensual? Aren't we the side that believe people should be treated equally, regardless of their gender, sexuality and race? Yet despite this you're telling me health is still a moral imperative?! That one still has to strive towards health to deserve to be treated with dignity and respect!?

La oss ta en liten gjennomgang her, OK? På samme måte som ikke alle slanke mennesker er sunne og friske, er ikke alle feite mennesker usunne og syke. Eller, mer presist, på samme måte som ikke alle slanke mennesker er usunne og syke, er ikke alle feite mennesker usunne og syke. Hvis du vil krangle med meg om dette trenger jeg virkelig at du gjør noen undersøkelser på egen hånd (men hvis du ser etter * nederst på innlegget hjelper jeg deg med å komme i gang). En av mine personlige Kroppsaksept helter, Marilyn Wann, sa det best da hun sa: "Det eneste noen kan diagnostisere ved å se på en feit person er deres eget nivå av fordommer mot feite mennesker!" ("The only thing anyone can diagnose by looking at a fat person is their own level of prejudice toward fat people!") Dette betyr at, med mindre du er en helsearbeider som arbeider med en feit person, eller nevnte feit person har fortalt deg om helsa si, har du faktisk ikke noen anelse hvordan helsa deres er. Når jeg nå vet dette, kan jeg ikke annet enn å synes all denne bekymringen er litt... merkelig.
Og selv om du visste nøyaktig hvordan helsa til en tjukkas var, på hvilken måte bryr det deg? Er ikke vi den siden som mener folk bør være fri til å kunne gjøre hva de vil med kroppen sin? Er ikke vi siden som legaliserte abort? Er ikke vi de som mener du kan elske og elske med hvem pokker du vil, så lenge partene er samtykkende? Er ikke vi siden som mener folk bør behandles likt, uavhengig av kjønn, seksualitet og rase? Men til tross for dette vil du fortelle meg at sunnhet og helse er et katgorisk imperativ? At man må strebe etter sunnhet og helse for å fortjene å bli behandlet med verdighet og respekt!?

Some liberals have adopted the idea that being "obese" is a disease. However, unlike with, oh say, every other disease around we are expected to cure ourselves. Under this line of thinking, the comments fatties are on the receiving end of become even more outrageous. Let's go with a classic, "You're disgusting! Go on a diet!" Imagine saying this to someone with cancer, "You disgust me! Get that cancer cured already!" In all fairness, the people who believe fatness is a disease aren't the ones making these comments (one would hope). Still though, it's not like you're asking us how we're feeling today, or if there's something you can do for us, or even telling us to try to think positive. No, fatness is not a disease, and if you want me to think otherwise you'll have to start by actually treating me like I'm sick. But you won't, because it's not about my health.

It really isn't. For the group of people I just talked about, it might be about the "cost to society". Mostly though, it's about my looks. It's about you not finding fat people pleasing to look at, but not being able to say that, because you're a good person, so you talk about how unhealthy being fat is instead. Being a professional athlete is murder on the body, but I don't see liberals telling them to change their behavior. Partly because you probably haven't really considered it before, but mostly because professional athletes are hot. Said in a more specific way, they generally fit into the category of "conventionally attractive". So please, let's try to avoid looking like hypocrites, accept that, as much as we might like them to, it isn't actually the job of the people around us to please us aesthetically, and get over it.
I actually wish it ended there, but there's something else in play here as well. It's about the fact that when a lot of people hear "fat" they think "lazy," "stupid," "ugly," "poor." I could go on, and it varies, but the important words here are "stupid" and "poor". Because there is this perception among liberals, I don't know exactly how widespread it is, but I do know it's there, that most liberals are middle-class, educated, young, and, since I am being painfully honest, white. And fat people are more likely than slender people to be working-class, less educated, older, and people of color. That's not just something I think by the way, it's true, although I don't know if the last part is true outside of the U.S. So dismissing fat people becomes easy, because they're not likely to be on your side anyway, and you have the socially acceptable excuse of health to hide behind.

But it's not about my health, and telling fat people we need to change for you to accept us is just abhorrent behavior, and we are better than that! At least that's what I want to believe. Which is why I'm writing this to you, my fellow liberals, hoping with all my heart that you will start proving me right.

Noen på venstresiden har adoptert ideen om at å "ha fedme" er en sykdom. Men i motsetning til... la meg se... å jo, alle andre sykdommer, er det forventet at vi skal kurere oss selv. Med denne tankegangen blir kommentarene tjukkaser er mottakere av enda mer opprørende. La oss ta en klassiker: "Du er motbydelig! Gå på slanker'n!" Tenk deg å si dette til noen med kreft: "Du er motbydelig! Få kurert den kreften!" I all rettferdighet bør det nevnes at folk som tror fedme er en sykdom ikke er de som kommer med disse kommentarene (håper jeg). Allikevel er det ikke som om de spør oss hvordan vi føler oss i dag, eller om det er noe de kan gjøre for oss, eller engang forteller oss at vi må tenke positivt. Nei, fedme er ikke er en sykdom, og hvis du vil at jeg skal tro noe annet må du starte med å faktisk behandle meg som om jeg er syk. Men det kommer ikke til å skje, for det handler ikke egentlig om helsa mi.

Det gjør virkelig ikke det. For den gruppen jeg nettopp snakket om, er det mulig det dreier seg om "kostnaden for samfunnet". Men for det meste handler det om utseendet mitt. Det handler om at du ikke synes feite mennesker er tiltalende å se på, men ikke kan si det, fordi du er en god person, så du snakker om hvor usunt det er å være feit er stedet. Å være en profesjonell idrettsutøver er grusomt for kroppen, men folk på venstresida insisterer ikke på at de skal endre sin atferd. Delvis fordi dere sannsynligvis ikke egentlig har tenkt noe videre over det før, men mest fordi profesjonelle idrettsutøvere er sexy. (Sagt på en mer spesifikk måte passer de vanligvis inn i kategorien "konvensjonelt attraktive".) Så vær så snille, la oss prøve å unngå å se ut som hyklere, akseptere at, selv om vi kanskje kunne ønske det fra tid til annen, er det faktisk ikke jobben til menneskene rundt oss å være estetisk tiltalende for oss, og komme over det.
Jeg skulle faktisk ønske det endte der, men det er noe annet i spill her også. Det handler om det faktum at når mange mennesker hører "feit" tenker de "lat", "dum", "stygg", "fattig". Jeg kunne fortsatt, og det varierer, men de viktige ordene her er "dum" og "fattig". For det finnes en oppfatning blant folk på venstresiden, jeg vet ikke nøyaktig hvor utbredt den er, men jeg vet den er der, at de fleste av oss på denne siden er en del av middelklassen, at vi er utdannede, unge, og, siden jeg er smertelig ærlig, hvite. Og det er større sannsynlighet blant feite mennesker enn blant slanke mennesker for å være en del av arbeiderklassen, mindre utdannet, eldre, og farget. Det er ikke bare noe jeg tror forresten, det er sant, selv om jeg ikke vet om den siste delen er sann utenfor USA. Så å avfeie feite mennesker blir enkelt, for det er ikke sannsynlig at de er på samme side som deg uansett, og du har den sosialt akseptable unnskyldningen helse å gjemme seg bak.

Men det handler ikke egentlig om helsa mi, og å fortelle feite folk at vi må forandre oss for at dere skal akseptere oss er bare forkastelig oppførsel, og vi er bedre enn det! Det er i hvert fall det jeg ønsker å tro. Som er grunnen til at jeg skriver dette til dere, mine med-ræddiser, mens jeg håper av hele mitt hjerte at dere vil bevise at jeg har rett.

___________________________________________________________________
*We actually spend quite a lot of time talking about Good Fatties and Bad Fatties in Fat Acceptance. Basically Good Fatties are fatties who eat "right" and exercise, and who have clean bills of health. The reason we talk about them a lot, is that it's terribly tempting for these Good Fatties to use themselves as examples whenever someone pulls out the health card, and yet we don't want them to do that, because not being treated like you're less-than really shouldn't be health dependent. // Vi tilbringer faktisk ganske my tid på å diskutere "Good Fatties" og "Bad Fatties" i Kroppsakseptbevegelsen. I et nøtteskall er "Good Fatties" tjukkaser som spiser "riktig" og trener jevnlig, og som har perfekt helse. Grunnen til at vi snakker ganske mye om dem, er at det er fryktelig fristende for disse "Good Fatties" å bruke seg selv som eksempel når noen trekker frem helse argumentet, men vi ønsker allikevel ikke at de skal gjøre dette, fordi å slippe å bli behandlet som om man er mindreverdig burde virkelig ikke være avhengig av god helse.
**Jeg prøvde å finne den norske versjonen av dette ordet/begrepet, men lyktes ikke. Hvis du skulle vite hva det er, blir jeg veldig takknemlig om du forteller meg det!

In Celebration of Fat Men

I posted this on my blog on Norwegian BBW dating site frodig.no, but I've decided I like it so much that I want it on here as well.
I, as well as a large number of other people in the Fatosphere, focus a lot on positive depictions of fat women. Visual representations of fat people are important, of course. To quote myself:

"There's a reason fat activists keep insisting it's a radical act just to be fat in public. Fat people are constantly pushed to make themselves less visible. We're told we're hard to look at, and if we insist on joining the world outside our front door, we should at least have the decency to wear something that will make it easier to not notice us."

In addition to this we're mostly ignored, when we're not used as headless representations of the OBESITY EPIDEMIC, by the media, so it's important to put depictions of fat people out there! But, as I mentioned before, I/we focus a lot on positive depictions of fat women, leaving the fat men somewhat overlooked in my opinion. So this is me trying to take a step in a better direction.

Jeg publiserte dette på bloggen min på den norske BBW dating siden frodig.no, men jeg har bestemt meg for at jeg likte det så godt at  jeg vil ha det her også.
Jeg, sammen med et stort antall andre personer i Fett-o-sfæren, fokuserer mye på positive fremstillinger av feite kvinner. Visuelle representasjoner av feite mennesker er selvfølgelig viktig, fordi (og jeg siterer meg selv):

"Det er en grunn til at fete aktivister (Fat Activists) insisterer på at det er en radikal handlig å være feit ute i offentligheten. Feite mennesker blir kontinuerlig presset til å gjøre seg selv mindre synlige. Vi blir fortalt at det er ubehagelig å se på oss, og at om vi insisterer på å være medlemmer av verden utenfor ytterdøren vår, burde vi i hvert fall ha anstendighet nok til å kle oss i noe som gjør det enklere å overse oss."

I tillegg til dette er vi for det meste oversett, når vi ikke blir brukt som hodeløse representasjoner for FEDME EPIDEMIEN, av media, så det er viktig å få frem positive fremtillinger av feite mennesker! Men som jeg nevnte tidligere, fokuserer jeg/vi mye på positive fremstillinger av feite kvinner, og etterlater feite menn noe oversett etter min mening. Så dette er meg som prøver å ta et steg i en riktigere retning.


Substantia Jones's Adipositivity Project had "DUDE WEEK" a little while back, and I'm starting this post with a look at her great pictures. // Substantia Jones' Adipositivity Project hadde for en liten tid tilbake "DUDE WEEK," og vi starter dette innlegget med å ta en titt på hennes flotte bilder.

My personal favorite:) // Min personlige favoritt:)

 

If you care about style chubstr.tumblr.com might be the place for you. According to themselves, this tumblr is where they share things that inspire them with the rest of us. // Hvis du er opptatt av stil er chubstr.tumblr.com kanskje stedet for deg. I følge dem selv, er denne tumblr bloggen stedet hvor de deler med oss andre ting som inspirerer dem.

 

If you want to enjoy the generous form of fat men in art and experience, Men in Full is the place for you. // Hvis du vil nyte feite menns generøse form i kunst og det virkelige liv, er Men in Full stedet for deg.

I first learned about him as the vocalist in Gnarles Barkely, singing Crazy. // Jeg hørte først om han som vokalisten i Gnarles Barkely, der han sang "Crazy".


Now I know him as Cee Lo Green, and he sings FUCK YOU. // Nå kjenner jeg han som Cee Lo Green, og han synger "FUCK YOU".


If you would like to see more of the adorable Harvey Guillen, he was one of the main characters in the extraordinary TV series HUGE. // Hvis du har lyst til å se mer av den skjønne Harvey Guillen hadde han en av hovedrollene i den enestående TV-serien "HUGE".


Big Dee Irwin is happy being fat in this song which was written for him. // Big Dee Irwin er lykkelig som feit i denne sangen som ble skrevet til ham.


One of my absolute favorites, Somewhere over the Rainbow sung by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole. //
En av mine absolutte yndlinger, "Somewhere over the Rainbow " sunget av Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole.

 

That's it from me for now. I hope you have enjoyed this celebration of fat men! Do feel free to let it carry on in the comments by sharing whatever resources you may have! // Det var alt fra meg for denne gangen. Jeg håper du har likt denne feiringen av feite menn! Fortsett den gjerne i kommentarene ved å dele evt. ressurser du selv måtte ha!

The Random Edition: Alyssa D'Anna



 

Kilde // Source: alyssadanna.com

Ja, jeg sa "feit".

Som noen av dere sikkert la merke til, brukte jeg ordet "feit" i overskriften i mitt seneste innlegg. Min bruk av ordet "feit" er veldig bevisst, og jeg vil gjerne få dele noen av tankene mine rundt dette valget, men jeg tror først det er på sin plass med en liten oppfrisking av gammel kunnskap: Ordene "feit" og "tjukk" er adjektiver, beskrivende ord uten noen form for moralsk vedheng, på samme måte som "slank", "høy" og "lav" er det.

Fra kroppsakseptbevegelsens begynnelse har det engelske ordet "fat", på norsk "tjukk" eller "feit", blitt aktivt brukt. Dette var et bevisst valg, for å ta tilbake et ord som de aller fleste hadde negative konnotasjoner til, men som i sin egentlige form kun er en beskrivelse, og som for mange av oss er det eneste ordet som faktisk passer. Å ta tilbake ordet "feit" har også den konsekvensen at dette breiale lille ordet ikke lenger kan brukes til å såre. Bare tenk på det, hvis "feit" inne i hodet ditt ikke lenger er et annet ord for "lat," "dum," "stygg" og "ekkel", men i stedet kun betyr "feit", er det vanskelig å føle seg såret når noen kaller deg feit. Misforstå meg rett, det er meget enkelt å merke forskjellen på en person som bruker ordet "feit" som en beskrivelse og en som bruker det som en fornærmelse, men det er likevel sånn at "tjukkas" mister mye av slagkraften når man ikke ser på det å være feit som noe negativt. Personlig har jeg kommet såpass langt på veien mot kroppsaksept at jeg her om dagen leste en kommentar ei dame hadde kommet med til ei anna dame, hvor hun kalte henne ei "feit tispe" (engelsk: "fat bitch"), hvorpå jeg fullstendig glemte at ordet "feit" var ment som en del av fornærmelsen, og kun tenkte: ""Tispe" var ikke en hyggelig ting å kalle noen!"
Dette er grunnen til at jeg gikk fra å bruke "tjukk" til å beskrive meg selv, til å begynne å bruke "feit". Hvis målet mitt er å ta fra ordene "feit" og "tjukk" kraften til å såre, er det viktig at jeg forsøker å "frigjøre" det ordet som blir sett på som det mest fornærmende. Kan du forestille deg hvor mye bedre vi kunne gjort livene til, f.eks, feite barn, hvis vi som samfunn sluttet å se på det å være feit som noe negativt? For all del, hvis du er på begynnerstadiet av din reise mot kroppsaksept kan det være et stort steg å bruke "tjukk" for å beskrive deg selv, så bruk gjerne det ordet som "støttehjul" en stund. Personlig håper jeg allikevel du vil ende opp med å bruke "feit," tro meg når jeg sier at det både er utrolig deilig å ikke være redd for dette ordet, og at det fører til mange morsomme situasjoner i møte med andre mennesker.

En tanke som ikke er så utbredt i dagens samfunn, er at individer skal ha den hele og fulle retten til å definere hvem de selv er, selvfølgelig inkludert hvilke ord det er greit å bruke for å definere dem. Jeg tror kroppsakseptbevegelsen har hentet dette prinsippet fra den skeive frigjøringsbevegelsen, hvor dette, forståelig nok, er er en viktig rettighet. Når man begynner å tenke på denne idéen virker den ganske åpenlys; selvfølgelig har du selv rett til å definere hvem du selv er. Det er for meg naturlig å tro at den eneste grunnen til at mange folk ikke tenker slik, er at de aldri har tenkt aktivt over det før. Det er p.g.a. dette prinsippet at du aldri kommer til å se meg definere andre privatpersoner som feite, med mindre de selv ønsker at dette ordet blir brukt om dem.
Selv bruker jeg som sagt ordet "feit" når jeg beskriver meg selv, selv om jeg også godtar "tjukk." Det velbrukte ordet "overvektig" er jeg derimot en sterk motstander av (Over hvilken vekt, om jeg tør spørre?), da det helt klart indikerer at det er en korrekt vekt å være på. Du bør også unngå "fyldig" og andre liknende ord. Disse ordene er kodeord for "feit" eller "lubben," som regel brukt av folk som føler det nødvendig å pakke inn at jeg er feit (og siden vi nå vet at det ikke er negativt å være feit, er jo ikke dét nødvendig).

Som Hermine Grang ville sagt: "Frykten for navnet øker frykten for tingen selv."

Big Dee Irwin - Happy Being Fat
As I'm sure some of you noticed, I used the word "fat" in the headline of my latest post. My use of the word "fat" is very deliberate, and I would like to share some of my thoughts surrounding this choice, but first I think a small refresher of old knowledge is in order: The word "fat" is a descriptor, an adjective completely free of moral attachments, just like "slender," "tall," and "short" is.

Since the dawn of the Fat Acceptance movement, the word "fat" has been used actively. This was a conscious choice, to reclaim a word that most people associated with something bad, but that in its true form is simply a descriptor, and that for many of us is the only word that really fits. Reclaiming the word "fat" also removes the power to hurt from this funny, little word. Just think about it, if "fat" is no longer is another word for "lazy," "stupid," "ugly," and "disgusting" in your head, but instead simply means "fat," it's difficult to feel hurt when someone calls you fat. Don't get me wrong, it is very easy to notice the difference between someone using the word "fat" as a descriptor and someone using it as an insult, still it's true that "fatty" loses much of its punch when one no longer views being fat as a negative thing. Personally I've traveled far along down the road to Fat Acceptance that, when I the other day read a comment one woman had made to another woman, calling her a "fat bitch," I completely forgot that the word "fat" was meant to be part of the insult, and only thought, ""Bitch" really isn't a nice thing to call someone!"

A thought that isn't widely spread in today's society, is that individuals should have complete power to define who they themselves are, including, of course, which words it is okay to use to describe them. I think the Fat Acceptance movement has taken this principle from the queer liberation movement, where this, quite understandably, is an important right. When you start thinking about this idea though, it seems pretty obvious; of course you have the right to define who you are. I find it natural to believe that the only reason why many people don't think this way, is that they've never actively thought about it before. It is because of this principle that you'll never see me define another private individual as fat, unless they want this word to be used about them.
I clearly use the word "fat" when describing myself. The well-worn word "overweight" on the other hand, I am a strong opponent of (Over which weight, if I may ask?), as it clearly indicates that there's a correct weight to be at. And don't even get me started on "obese"! American media has taken to describing fat people as "the obese," not even bothering to mention that we're fat people, not just fat bodies. "Obesity" is of course a medical term first, and as I refuse to be pathologized for simply having a body that doesn't look like the current ideal, this is absolutely not a word with which I choose to define myself. You should also avoid words like "plump," "curvy," and, dear god, "juicy." Words like that are code-words for "fat" or "chubby," usually used by people who find it necessary to tiptoe around the word "fat" (and since we now know being fat isn't a negative thing, that certainly isn't something one needs to do).

In the words of Hermione Granger: "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."

Fat in France

La vie en rose - Edith Piaf

                                                                         

I love to travel, and I do it as often as I can on a student’s budget. I find traveling exciting, fun, sometimes relaxing, and I think it broadens the mind. Which is why I think it’s heartbreaking when I see many fatties say they’re afraid to travel; that they’re putting it off until they’re thinner; or that they’ve just put it out of their minds altogether. With this in mind I am starting a new post series on the blog, telling you all about my Fat Travels™.

My first tale is of a three day weekend in Paris. The trip was a gift to me, and my brother and his fiancée, from our parents at Christmas. This was my first time in Paris, and I have to say that if you’ve never been there, you really should put it on the list! I’ve never been to a city quite like Paris. Everywhere I went was so beautiful! The buildings, which were mostly very well preserved, all had these beautiful decorations. There were artistic statues everywhere. And … well, you know those paintings you’ve seen? With the cobblestone streets, the narrow passages, and the sidewalk restaurants? Yeah, it was like that. Keep in mind that I’d never been to Paris before, so I spent a lot of my time doing very tourist-y things in very tourist-y areas, but it was still like that for me. Plus, there were croissants, and delicious red wine, and escargot with lots of garlic (which I ate), and frog legs (which I didn’t).

Since this is the first post in this new series I’m starting with the airport. I travel from Oslo Lufthavn Gardermoen, and we were there an hour before departure. Some people can’t stand the thought of not being at the airport without oceans of time before departure, but one hour is really all you need at Gardermoen. If you’re travelling internationally from the U.S. it’s my experience that you need to be at the airport two hours before departure. Anywhere else, and an hour and a half should do. I’ve never been stopped at customs, I do, however, get stopped at security almost every time I travel, and since I’ve decided writing about being stopped at security adds color to my narrative you’ll probably be reading a lot of stopped-at-security stories. This time it was at Charles De Gaulle in Paris. I’d managed to forget that I had three containers of different liquids in my handbag, and so didn’t remove them from my bag and put them in the little plastic bags you’re supposed to use. The woman who checked my bag, after I’d sent it through the screening, calmly and aloofly put it on a little area to go through it, and completely ignored my embarrassment and apologies as she pulled out one item after the other, put them in a little plastic bag, and gave it all back to me.
I love airports! This is a place, where, once you’ve checked in and gotten through security, you’re completely free of things you “should” do. - Okay, so that’s not 100% true all the time, and if you’re traveling for business I guess I can see working at the airport, but if you’re traveling for pleasure and you still have to work at the airport, I’m officially declaring you too busy! Anyway, airports, yes … nothing to do but look forward to the nice trip you’re going to have, or to going home, and maybe shop in the overpriced stores, or eat or drink overpriced food or drink. And there’s no use being annoyed by the prices, because one restaurant is just as expensive as the next. And nobody looks strangely at you if you’re drinking wine at twelve o’ clock, because you’re on holiday. Everything is so bright and clean in airports. Even the people look better, because they’re happy, and because some of us still think it’s appropriate to dress up a little to fly. Can you tell I like airports?

I don’t have the same relationship with actually being on the plane as I have with being in airports, but that isn’t to say I mind it at all. Since this is my first time writing about traveling while fat there are some things I should mention again. A lot of you are worried about not fitting into the seats, so here are some handy hints that I’ve picked up along the way: Firstly there’s Seatguru, I don’t use this site much myself, but I know a lot of fatties love it more than they love donuts (which, as we know, all fatties love more than life itself). Secondly, some general rules: Do not choose seats in the first row, or by the emergency exits. Those seats usually have the trays stored in the armrests, giving your bottom half less space to expand under the armrests if you need it. Do try to choose aisle seats. Here you have the opportunity to utilize some of the aisle space for your arms and shoulders, and you also avoid having both hips pressed against the people sitting next to you. Some people swear by the window seats, since theoretically you should be able to lift the armrests and give yourself more space there. However, in my experience these armrests are locked in the down position more often than not (remember here that I fly mostly in Europe). In fact, on a couple of the planes I've been on recently, none of the armrests would go all the way up, so it was more comfortable to keep them down. You might need a seat belt extender to be able to fasten the seat belt. I personally have never needed one, so I don’t have any experience with this, but I am told (mostly by Americans) that they are readily available on all flights if you ask a flight attendant. If you would prefer not to have to ask a flight attendant for it, you can purchase one (this is just one of the places they're sold) for yourself and bring it with you. I personally was 5’6”, weighed 269lbs, and measured 51-44-54 when I went to Paris. Saying I fit comfortably in the seat would have been a lie, but I did fit. Whether we fit into the seat or not, a lot of us worry about being told by the flight crew that we need to purchase a second seat. I have some tips on this issue as well, although my only qualification for giving them is really that I’ve never been asked to buy a second seat myself. Firstly, and let’s just get it out of the way, it helps if you’re traveling with someone slender. Then you have someone whose space you can “encroach” on without them being bothered by it. Don’t let this stop you from traveling solo though! I certainly have. My second tip is to dress well; you don’t have to pull out your pearls, but definitely no tracksuits (really, no matter how comfortable they are). Most of you should be able to just picture how you dress in everyday life, and take it up a small notch. My third tip is don’t draw attention to yourself. I’m not saying you can’t ask questions if you have them, or that you should try to avoid the flight attendants, but maybe don’t have a picnic on the floor in front of the boarding counter, or decide to entertain your fellow travelers by singing aloud a joke version of the national anthem while seated in the boarding area. As fatties we don’t actually blend in, but what I’m trying to say here is don’t force them into having to make a decision on the subject. On a related note, the first post I ever wrote on this blog was titled Why charging fat passengers double is a horrible idea, and if you haven’t read it I would love for you to check it out!

Having covered the part wherein I actually traveled, I've finally arrived at Paris itself. People in Paris mostly look the way I’ve come to expect people in Western Europe to look; lots of them are slender and lots of them are chubby, and a few of them are fat. Apart from this normalcy, being fat in Paris is an interesting experience. The city officials, you see, seem to have had people of a certain size in mind when they equipped the public spaces, and the tourist-y ones, but the private individuals don’t seem to have followed the same thought patterns. The spaces owned by individuals are no bigger than they have to be, the tables are small, and so are the chairs (though the chairs mostly don’t have armrests). I mentioned the cobblestone streets. If your movement is impaired this may not sound so great to you, but the good thing is that all the sidewalks I saw accompanying the streets were made to be flat, and more or less smooth.
We spent about half a day on one of the sightseeing buses. These are equipped with the typical two plastic seats with slightly upturned edges on both sides of an aisle. The upturned edges might unfortunately cause discomfort for some super fats, but I did notice that my death fat arse was quite comfortable. Another interesting example of Parisian city officials having had fat people in mind, are some chairs that we found placed around a fountain by Musée du Louvre.

Wide chair. Narrow chair.

Fat person. Slender person.

I had a single room where we stayed at Hotel Europe Saint Severin***. The bed was a queen sized double bed, so that was a nice surprise. Also the room wasn’t so cramped I barely had room to stand, which I’ve come to expect from single rooms, so that was another nice surprise. The bedroom itself wasn’t much to write home about, but the bathroom was recently renovated, and so clean it was gleaming. As I just mentioned I’ve come to expect single rooms to be cramped, and this was true of the bathroom here. Space saving had yielded the result that the toilet was placed in a little niche. My deathfat form didn’t have a lot of room, but it was alright. However, if you are a super fat it might be problematic, so either bring some equipment along, or book a double room.

As I’ve mentioned on here once before, it’s considered impolite to stare in Norway. This doesn’t mean we don’t look; just that it’s considered very rude to be caught in a stare, so you automatically limit the time you look at someone so it isn’t long enough to be called a stare, and if someone should see you looking at them you look away immediately. There are rude people everywhere of course, and, having traveled quite a bit, I have of course been to countries where they don’t have the same cultural view on staring. Despite this, I have experienced very little negative attention of this kind. So little, in fact, that I believed that I was just exceptionally unobservant in cases like these. It is still a fact that I spend a lot of time in my head, and that I just don’t really care if people look at me or not, so I’m not saying I don’t still believe I miss a lot, but Paris taught me I do notice some things. And this is the thing about Paris that isn’t so great.
As you now know, I hail from a country where you feel embarrassed if you’re caught staring, so when on Friday I noticed a white, middle aged man slowly looking me over, starting with my shoes and working his way up, I expected him to look quickly away when he reached my face and realized I had seen him. I was wearing sunglasses, so maybe he didn’t realize I was looking him in the eye, but I was facing him straight on. Anyway, I looked at him, and he continued to look at me, after a few seconds I raised an eyebrow, he stared a second longer, and then looked away.
We stayed in the Latin Quarter in Paris, which is this really great part of the city teeming with life, little shops, lots of places to eat and drink, and on top of this is about as central as you can get in a city as big as Paris. According to Wikipedia the Latin Quarter is “Known for its student life, lively atmosphere and bistros […]”. The student life and lively atmosphere was in full effect as we were walking around Saturday night, looking for a place to get a drink. Drunken people your own age do always constitute a fat person risk. Will the reduction in inhibitions cause people to say or do things they wouldn’t normally do? Then of course there’s the fact that a lot of the people who go out drinking are single and looking (or taken and looking), and are therefore paying more attention to their own and other peoples looks than they normally might. And yeah, I was stared at. It’s hard to know how much of that was because I’m a woman who might be available, how much was because of the outfit I was wearing (which, if I do say so myself, was fetching, and also quite green), and how much was because I’m fat. I did notice that, just as we came into their line of vision, a group of young men suddenly got very loud (in French, which I don’t speak), shouting something to each other, this while I was having that feeling you have when you’re aware of being watched. Later a woman quite blatantly turned to stare at me while I was standing outside a bar talking to my companions, apparently prompted by the man who was sitting across from her.
The last, and worst, case of the stares I was on the receiving end of while I was in Paris was at Charles De Gaulle Airport. I had to walk by a table where three people, who looked like a father and his daughter and son, were sitting, three times. Now, I was wearing some noisy heels. I was also wearing capri pants, showing my ankles, which had, for reasons known and unknown, swollen til they were wider than my feet. That being said, wow, did the dad stare at me, mostly, it seemed, in the direction of my feet. I saw him staring the first time I went by the table. I saw him looking and looking the second time I went by the table. The third time I had to walk past the table, I looked towards them as soon as I was in the line of sight, and, sure enough, there was the daughter staring at me. I looked into her face the whole time I was walking past them, but she just kept staring. Finally, just after I’d passed the table, I turned around, and, finding them all looking at me, smiled widely (okay, maybe a little manically) and waved energetically.
For someone who isn't used to getting this type of attention, this was a lot in one weekend. Saturday night was an uncomfortable experience, but apart from that the rudeness of it all was really what bothered me the most. I was much more affected, for example, by the guy who felt it necessary to comment on my tits as I was walking home from work one night, right here in Oslo. One thing all these experiences have taught me though, is that my chosen tactic until now, staring right back at the people who stare, isn't actually doing its job in making me feel the way I want to feel after something like this, meaning that I'll have to try to think of another way to go before the next time.

I love having clothes not everybody else has, so I always put aside a little money in my budget for shopping when I go abroad. My shopping process has changed since becoming a fatty; now I research which shops sell clothes in my size before I go, and write down/print out where to find them for my trip. Paris may be Fashion Heaven for slender people, but this is not true for the fat ones, so there was really only one store I wanted to visit when I was there, namely Jean Marc Philippe. I’d admired their clothes for a long time, but with the added costs for shipping, Norwegian sales taxes, and customs fees, I just can’t afford them. In Paris no such costs are added of course, and I even got them tax free. This was good, because as it turns out I love that brand! Every time I put on a new item I marveled at how good the fabrics felt, and then I looked in the mirror, and, a lot of the time, got to marvel at how good I looked in the same fabrics. If I had to say one bad thing about the place, it would have to be that a lot of emphasis is being put on the clothes being flattering (i.e. making you appear less fat), so if you're into crop tops and booty shorts this might not be your ideal place. Putting that aside, I just can't recommend this brand enough! Really, I'm practically drooling as I sit here dreaming about going back. (Just so you know, they’re having a sale right now, I’m not saying anything I’m just saying. Take another 20% off with the code JMPDOUBLEVIP.)

The rudeness of Parisians towards anyone who doesn’t speak French is legendary of course. Mostly I didn’t find this to be true at all. There is, however, an exception, and it is the cab drivers. One might expect these people to speak some English, as they must spend large parts of their day carting around tourists, but one would be wrong. This isn’t actually rude, of course, just strange. However, when you can show the cab driver the address of the place you’re going, on a piece of paper you’ve brought with you, and she still doesn’t understand, I tend to believe she doesn’t want to understand. And when a cab driver takes you straight to the place you wanted to go, without any hesitation, after never actually confirming that he understood you when you tried to explain where you wanted to go, yeah that doesn’t look so friendly either.

When I visit a new country I always learn these five words:

Hello – Bonjour (good evening – bonsoir, good night - bonne nuit)

Yes – Oui

No – Non

Thanks – Merci

Goodbye – Au revoir

They won’t help you with the cab drivers, but with anyone else it’s a nice gesture.

So in conclusion: Go to Paris if you can scrounge up the money! Three days was great, if it’s your first time I think five days would be even better. It’s called the worlds most romantic city, but whether you go alone, with friends, with family, or with one or more romantic partners, I can pretty much guarantee you’ll have a good time. And don’t be afraid to be fat in France! I was, and I’d go back tomorrow if you asked me! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! Au revoir, mes amis!